I don’t need to tell you that life feels heavier these days. You already know. You wake up with that familiar weight pressing down on your chest (and not because your dog thinks you’re his personal mattress). You scroll through the news, and it’s just—more. More stress, more division, more pressure to do, be, and achieve. And by the time you’ve had your first sip of coffee, you already feel behind.

It’s not just you.

Life is objectively more stressful than it used to be.

Studies have shown that anxiety and depression rates have skyrocketed in recent years. According to the American Psychological Association, stress levels in adults are significantly higher than they were even a decade ago. And that’s not just “life is hard” stress—it’s chronic, the kind that wears you down over time like an ocean slowly eroding a rock. (Only, unlike a rock, you don’t get the luxury of just sitting there while life happens around you.)

So, what do we do? How do we function, actually function, not just survive when everything feels like too much?

We self-soothe.

Wait, What? Adults Need to Self-Soothe?

Yes. And before you roll your eyes, let me explain.

When you were a kid and you scraped your knee, someone scooped you up, kissed your “boo-boo,” and made it all better. But now? Now you’re an adult, and when life throws a punch, no one swoops in with a Band-Aid and a hug. (I mean, you could ask your best friend to hold you while you ugly cry, but there’s only so many times you can text “LIFE IS HARD” at 2 a.m. before they start sending you therapy referral links.)

The thing is, we still need that comfort. We still need ways to regulate our emotions and bring ourselves back down when everything feels overwhelming. And science backs this up: studies show that self-soothing techniques can help activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which essentially tells your body, “Hey, we’re safe. You can calm down now.”

So, let’s talk about how to do that—because “just breathe” doesn’t quite cut it when your brain is spiraling into the abyss.

Nine Ways to Pull Yourself Out of a Funk (Backed by Science and Not Just Vibes)

1. Acknowledge What You’re Feeling

No, really. Name it. Research from UCLA found that putting words to emotions, literally just saying “I’m feeling anxious” or “I’m overwhelmed” can reduce their intensity. It’s like shining a flashlight on the monster under the bed. Suddenly, it’s just a pile of socks.

2. Ask Yourself, “What Can I Do to Help Myself Right Now?”

Simple question, but powerful. Instead of spiraling, pause. What would help right now? A five-minute walk? A deep breath? A playlist full of songs that make you feel something other than stress? Your brain wants to fix things…it just needs direction.

3. Get Lost in Something You Love

Hobbies aren’t just cute little time-fillers; they’re a legit form of self-soothing. Studies show that engaging in enjoyable activities lowers cortisol (aka, the stress hormone). So, paint, play guitar, read, bake…whatever gets you into that flow state where the world disappears for a while.

4. Let It Out (No, Really—Cry if You Need To)

Crying isn’t a weakness; it’s biology. Research suggests that emotional tears actually release stress hormones, which is why you feel marginally better after an ugly cry. So, if you need to break down in your car for five minutes before walking into work? Do it. Science approves.

5. Write It Down (So It Stops Looping in Your Brain)

Journaling isn’t just for poets and teenagers with angst. Studies have found that writing about stressful experiences helps reduce their emotional grip. Even if it’s just a brain dump in your Notes app, getting it out of your head can be a game-changer.

6. Engage Your Senses

When anxiety spikes, your brain goes into fight-or-flight mode. One way to counteract that? Ground yourself in the present using your senses:

• Sip something warm (tea, coffee, hot cocoa, whatever feels like comfort in a cup).

• Hold something textured (a blanket, a rock, your dog…assuming they allow it).

• Listen to music that makes you feel calm, happy, or like the main character of a redemption arc.

7. Move (Even When You Don’t Want To)

I know, I know…exercise is the last thing you want to do when you’re in a funk. But movement releases endorphins, which are your body’s natural antidepressants. And it doesn’t have to be a full workout. Just a short walk or dancing around your kitchen can make a real difference. (Bonus points if you reenact a dramatic movie scene while doing it.)

8. Talk to Someone Who Gets It

Connection is everything. Even a quick check-in with a friend can help regulate your emotions. If you’re struggling, say it out loud to someone who won’t judge you for it. And if you don’t have that person? Therapy is always a valid option…your mental health is worth investing in.

9. Remind Yourself: “I’m Going to Be Okay”

Sounds cheesy, but self-talk matters. Research in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) shows that what we tell ourselves directly impacts our emotional state. Saying “I can handle this” is far more powerful than repeating “Everything is awful.” (Even if it feels like a lie at first.)

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Broken – You’re Just Human

Look, life is a lot right now. No one is handling it perfectly (despite what social media wants you to believe). But you’re not weak for feeling overwhelmed. You’re not failing because you need a break. You’re human, and being human means learning how to take care of yourself, even when the world feels like too much.

So, the next time your brain starts spiraling into doom mode, pause. Take a breath. And remind yourself that you have the power to pull yourself through. You’ve done it before. You’ll do it again.

And in the meantime? Maybe give yourself the same kindness you’d give a friend. You deserve that.

I hope this helps.