It’s ironic that one of the more recent blogs I’ve posted was about “imposter syndrome” because, I’ll just be straight up with you, it’s absolutely been kicking my ass.

Oh, but here’s the real irony in all of it – throughout all of this I’ve continued to be a source of positive inspiration and motivation for a number of people. I’ve worked with countless people on how to overcome their fears and self-limiting beliefs…all the while…absolutely being in the middle of the same things, if not worse.

This blog isn’t to say the things I’ve said to them haven’t been true, in fact, quite the opposite. Everything I’ve shared with them is ABSOLUTELY the truth…it’s just time I said it to myself. And since I know I need this – maybe there’s someone else that will benefit from it too. So join me, if you will, in my note to myself.

Let’s establish one thing: Rejection is a bitch.

And FEW things sting like the sting of rejection. I don’t even like writing the word because of the innate pain that is associated with it. What’s WORSE is when it comes from someone you know or care about.

I’ve dealt with it for years (we all have) in one way or another and, on one level or another, experience a form of it on a daily basis. So if I’M feeling it, I know others must be too – so this is my pep talk to both of us.

First, let’s actually define “rejection,” shall we?

  • Rejection: the refusal to accept, consider, or recognize, etc.

That’s what it is.

Here’s what it is NOT:

  • Failure
  • Final
  • Defeat
  • Collapse
  • Defining

Or about YOU.

Rejection is not about your ability – it’s rooted in someone else’s inability to accept, consider, or recognize what you actually represent and bring to the table. There’s not a single major success story that reads:

“Wow! I woke up one day with an idea of something I had never thought of or done before, and so I gave it a shot! Suddenly, the phone rings and someone from New York offers me a pile of money for my idea…and next thing you know, I’m a celebrity!”

-no one, ever.

Every story is riddled with moments of “near quitting,” panic, desperation, fear, insecurity, and (oh yeah…) rejection.

The biggest names in the world have all been (or damn near) bankrupt – often in more ways than one – AT LEAST once along the way.

Did you know that Colonel Sanders was 66 years old before opening his first Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise restaurant? He had an idea and recipe that he just KNEW would change the fast food industry forever. He was rejected 1009 times. A THOUSAND TIMES! I have to be honest with you…after my 500th “no” I’m probably beginning to question my recipe. Not Harland Sanders…he knew the one thing he couldn’t do is quit…going back for the 1010th time is why I was able to eat a Famous Bowl earlier this week. One thousand and ten.

I think most people would agree that Luther Vandross is one of the quintessential voices in all of music, but ESPECIALLY R&B. (Big Luther was my fav…#IYKYK)

Luther Vandross was boo’d off the stage at “Showtime At The Apollo” not once…not twice…FOUR TIMES.

Dr. Seuss had his first book manuscript rejected 28 times.

George Lucas was a struggling director in Hollywood and coming off a significant box office failure when he was hired as the director for “American Graffiti” starring a 30-year old actor that had been floundering around Hollywood for more than 10 years looking for his breakthrough role named Harrison Ford.

The American Film Institute awarded its “Lifetime Achievement Award” to Morgan Freeman in 2011. Freeman didn’t get his first major role until he was 49 years old.

In his pursuit of the cotton filament for the incandescent lightbulb, Thomas Edison failed more than 10,000 times. He’s famously quoted for saying “I didn’t fail 10,000 times, I showed 10,000 ways NOT to make a lightbulb.”

Henry Ford had the first two iterations of Ford Motor Company go under.

James Dyson created 5,127 prototypes before successfully creating the first bagless vacuum cleaner. 5,127!

Sylvester Stallone. Katy Perry. Walt Disney. And countless others experienced failures enough to make anyone around them justify their decision to quit. Hell, even Stephen Spielberg was rejected by the USC school of Cinematic Arts more than once!

“Life demands the utmost in realism, seeing things as they are. The more you can limit or compensate for your emotional responses, the closer you will come to this ideal.”

Robert Greene, “The 33 Strategies of War”

We have to eliminate the idea of “failure” in our lives. There is no failure. Declare the true spirit within you and recognize that the Spirit NEVER fails.

“This word blots out from the book of my remembrance any sense of lack, limitation, want, or fear of failure. There is no failure. Failure is neither person, place, nor thing. It is a false thought and has no truth in it. It is a belief in lack and there is no lack! It is a belief in a limitation which does not exist!”

Ernest Holmes, “The Science of Mind”

The fact that you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.

You’re writing your biography; you’re just still telling the beginning part. The good parts are next.

You got this.

I love you, me.